The Joy of Alzheimers!

http://thecaregiversvoice.com/blog/blog/

The above website belongs to Brenda Avadian. She is the author of several books on Alzheimer's and the caregiver. I have read Finding Joy in Alzheimer's 1 and Finding Joy in Alzheimer's 2. She has compiled short stories from caregivers that bring a sense of joy into a difficult life event. Brenda is giving a voice to caregivers, so check out her website for more books and information. She has graciously linked my blog to her site.

Thank you Brenda!!!

Anniversary - 44 Years!

Today we celebrated 44 years of marriage for my mom & dad. What a milestone! I am so blessed to have them for parents. I stand in awe of how fortunate I truly am.

I gave mom a bath and spa treatment. This included doing her hair. I have been letting her hair grow out, so I have more to work with when it comes to styling. I flipped up the ends, and it was the cutest it has ever been. Sean told her she was the cutest she's ever been since he met her. She just beamed and grinned ear to ear.

Late in the evening, I noticed she was out of the room, so I went to find her. She was looking in the mirror in her bathroom. I complemented her hair, and she smiled! She commented she was feeling kind of "teeter-ie" or unsteady. I took her to the living room to sit down. She started asking, "Now, where's my mother? Where's my mother?" I felt helpless to respond that my Grammy had passed away several years ago. She said, "Oh, I had forgotten that." She seemed okay and went on. Later I discovered, dad had neglected to give their morning medicines. I think that probably contributed to the confusion. I suppose I will just try more to keep a better check on him and those pill boxes.

Valentines!

This week is not only Valentine's week, but on February 16th my parents will have been married 44 years! That's pretty good considering Mom was 33 when she got married.

For Valentine's day the kids and I took by candy, cards, & a stuffed frog that sings! The frog is goofy and does his own rendition of "Let Me Call You Sweetheart... I'm in love with You!" It is very cute and mom and dad both sing along.

Another cute antidote is the singing game my dad has begun with mom. He grins at her and begins singing, "I love you in the mornin', love you in the ev'ning, love you at... (and abruptly stops). At his long pause, she jumps in with a deepish and fun..... "Suppertime!" We all have begun to "play" the game with her. It is so fun to see her eyes light up and her grin as she completes the song! Another good use of music therapy in dealing with Alzheimer's.

More Helps for dealing with Alzheimer's

• The Alzheimer's Alliance offers a helpline for challenging situations related to Alzheimer's. 1-800-272-3900.

• If you're in the Oklahoma City Area: Interested in sitting down with someone who knows how to help? Paula Avery with the Alzheimer's Association knows everything that is available to help families with this illness. It takes several weeks to get an appointment, but it is so worth the wait. She will sit down with family members and inform you of everything that is available to help your circumstances. It's FREE! She can be reached by calling 405-319-0780.

• How they feel? They are scared all the time. Each patient reacts differently to fear. They have become passive, uncooperative, hostile, angry, agitated, verbally abusive or physically combative. They may even do them all at different times, or alternate between them. Anxiety may compel them to shadow you (follow everywhere). They can't remember your reassurances. Keep saying them.

Bath Time Fun!

I think my memories of childhood are helping in coping with my mom. Bath time can be VERY stressful for both of us. You have to have everything at hand and ready. Preparedness is key to a success. Of course, you can never be prepared for the fact that the water seems, "TOO HOT!!! or "OH, THAT's SO FREEZING" or "NO, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD WASH MY HAIR."

Today, I decided that we could try singing during bath time. It worked great. My mom sat in the water singing so contently, "I'm a little white duck... sitting in the water... a little white duck doing water I otter...." We both got the verses messed up, but who cares. We made it through the bath!

Near the end of the experience as I was rinsing her hair, I began to realize the temperature of the hot water was dropping. Now these people have a big hot water tank! Well, the pilot light had gone out. I had limited time. Of course, God was with me, and we did our best. Surely her hair is rinsed well enough til next week's head washin'.

I hope it's not dangerous to light a hot water tank pilot light. I have no experience with this!! Of course this is my dad's area of expertise. I'm sure he'll do great, but it's just another concern that I thinking about. We'll see!

Here are some tips for Alzheimer's care:

• Don't reason
• Don't argue
• Don't confront.
• Don't remind them they forget.
• Don't question recent memory. "Don't you remember; we just talked about that?"
• Don't take it personally!
• Do give short, one sentence explanations.
• Repeat instructions in the exact same way and allow plenty of time for comprehension.
• Avoid asking questions that rely on memory

More next time! - Carol

Blubble, Blah, Blah, Blubba

I was talking with my friend about holding my mom. I did it again today. I just held her there and patted her. Something made me turn to her and flip my tongue across my lips as a child would do saying, "blubba, blubba, blubba, blubbabaaba". To my surprise she did it right back to me. I cracked up and did it again. She did too. We kept doing it for a good 10 minutes. We both laughed.

I can remember silly times as a child of her holding me and doing the same silly game. It was so good to see her smile. My daughter overheard the exchange and began giggling hysterically. She came and joined in with our fun. It was a point of contact for all of us. Those don't happen that often anymore. I was so glad I happened onto something crazy that made for a "moment" for forever!

As for my doctor's visit. It went well. All my blood levels are normal. In fact, my triglycerides are EXCELLENT. I am working through the sleep "spells" with some medicine.