Well! We are gearing up for our first Bixby Christmas. Mom is doing pretty well. She is mostly happy if you give her something sweet! She's down to 130 pounds. When she was first diagnosed she was about 180. So, we indulge her with the sweet stuff. Today is Justus 6th birthday, so we are going to eat out Mexican food with the whole family! Fortunately for mom, we have 2 birthday cakes sitting in the kitchen for our dessert after dinner.

I suppose it is time to finish out the year with some celebrations. The biggest of which is that dad is well!

He was in the hospital for 6 days with ecolli poisoning. Even better yet, he is going to church with us every Sunday. In fact, he committed his life and heart to Jesus just 3 weeks ago at church. Yesterday, he told me he loves his church so much. We go to www.lifechurch.tv It is a very ROCKING church with most of the congregation under the age of 35. He absolutely loves it. They are opening a campus in Bixby in 2008, and he wants to be a greeter.

Ambulance ride!

Well, Hopefully this is the last bit of "drama" for a while, but I still need prayer!
On this past Thursday, dad couldn't stand up for severe dizziness. He was having chills & sweats. He couldn't make it to the bathroom without literally falling over. After calls to doctors & no responses, I finally resolved to call the ambulance - 911. Sean took mom & the kids and I rode with dad in the ambulance to St. Francis. The best call I ever made. By the time they got here dad was flat on his back vomiting everywhere and pouring sweat like an open fire hydrant!
His fever soared over 103, and he threw up for the entire ambulance ride and several hours afterward. Now after an arduous hospital stay and lots of anxiety for all, we now know he had eccolli (sp?) in his bloodstream that had traveled from his bladder. He was septic and ever so sick.
Somewhere back at Monday's angiogram he picked up some "bad stuff" at the hospital. Go to the hospital to get sick!
There has been lots of schedule-juggling, mom-juggling, kid-juggling... and oh yes! the car broke down too if you can believe that!
At last, he is finally gaining strength and probably going to be released from the hospital tomorrow. I AM asking for cards. His address is Earl Collins, 3115 E. 144th Pl. S., Bixby, OK 74008. He has been very strong and fought very hard to get well. He is very weak and tired... Mostly from throwing up. I know that a note or card would mean a lot to him. It's kind of lonely being sick so far from "home".
Please pray for mom. She is doing just fine, but she is confused at why dad isn't here. She can't seem to remember he went the hospital. She has been to visit 2 times but comes home exhausted. Tomorrow will be a big day getting him home, so pray all my bases remain covered... so to speak.
Love to all,
Carol

We're gonna need this address???

Sorry to all who've checked my blog to find NOTHING over the past several weeks. I've been spinning as usual.

About 3 weeks ago, dad & I went for his initial appointment with his new cardiologist here in Tulsa. To my shock and dismay, Dad's heart was functioning at 30%. Just yesterday, he underwent an angiogram to discover he has NO BLOCKAGE. His heart is damaged. Most likely some type of virus has caused the cardio-myopathy. We are going to try meds to help the problem.

So... there I was with mom doing her parkinson's tremoring as she held my hand and dad thrashing in recovery from anesthesia. YIKES! When it rains sometimes it pours for a little while. Yes, I survived it, but I have to share this story.

Dad is wheeled back in his hospital bed. It's been about 2 hours since the procedure and he is resting. The lovely little round nurse gently explained that mom & I had about 45 minutes to wait until they would get daddy up to walk him around. Mom had been so sweet and smiling since her awakening and dressing at 6AM. It had been one long day in the waiting area. We had colored in coloring books till she told me that was boring. We had held hands. She had smiled widely and wildly and everyone who went by, and we had made a few friends with other families waiting for their loved ones test results. Needless to say we had not wanted to miss our moment with the doctor, so we had stayed glued to the recovery area. It was now almost 2PM. We were hungry!!!!

The sweet nurse with the wide hips and the nonchalant manner had given us the "permission" to go get some food and take a break. I grabbed mom by the hand and said, "Let's go get you some food! I think you need a chocolate shake. Overjoyed mom said, "Oh Yes! Yes I do! That's right! That IS what I need." I began gathering up the purse, the jackets, the planner, the coloring books... Then mom starting saying to the nurse, "Now wait just a minute here. Now wait... Now wait... If we're gonna leave here... If we are gonna leave him here, then we are gonna have to write down this address." The nurse & I just laughed & laughed. We better get that address written down, so we won't lose dad. How cute!

Well, I'm putting dad in Depends now. He has been having trouble holding his bladder. His first "usage" was a fiasco. He put them on wrong and was wearing the leg as the waist. So, now I am using a sharpie to mark the "back tags" in his new special undies.

FUN! FUN! abounds!!!

I'm tired!

Whew! I'm tired of being tired!

Today, I finally think I can say that my house is getting organized. No it's not clean! But atleast I can walk through my bedroom and all the bills are paid! That is organized enough for me now.

I never have time to post. I never have time to shower! LOL!

I am going to try to start back running or atleast exercising. It seems that has just fallen by the wayside. Hopefully with a little motivation I can get myself on track. I've decided to stop life-coaching others and life-coach myself.

Alzheimers Walk

If you'd like to walk with me to raise awareness please click the link to the right! We can walk together in Tulsa on Saturday, September 28th! You can also donate even $10 to the cause. Brenda Avadian of The Caregiver's Voice has also graciously offered to donate some of her books to those who contribute. Remember if you want to walk, let me know and I'll have a T-Shirt made just for you as well.

Here's Brenda's Incentive!!!!
Dear Carol,
To HELP you achieve your team goals of $500 and 6 members, I will do the following...

In HONOR of your Mom, Joy Collins, I will donate 2 personally autographed and dated Finding the JOY in Alzheimer's: When Tears are Dried with Laughter to the first 2 people who donate OVER $75 or more to your team walk.

In MEMORY of my father, Martin Avadian, I will donate 1 autographed and dated "Where's my shoes?" My Father's Walk Through Alzheimer's to the FIRST person who donates OVER $100 to your team walk.

These gifts will allow your team to receive a lasting impact and truly personal gift beyond (any sore muscles after) the walk!

Living in BIXBY

THE HOUSE

Yes! We did it! Yes! with a little help from our friends! We been faced with the challenge of moving our 2 families due to a job transfer to the Tulsa area. Unbelievably by God's grace we sold 2 homes, packed 2 homes, moved 2 small children and 2 aging grandparents under one roof and things are going unbelievably well.

I just "took a break" and took Mom, Dad, Justus, & Annaliese in the car and drove to the Arkansas river for a very fancy lunch at an elegant cafe' on the riverwalk. Dad loved getting to stare at the river drifting by us. He was proud to be a "Tulsan". Mom enjoyed her chicken salad croissant with grapes & almonds. I've just been dragging her all over Tulsa, and she's doing just fine!!! She even made a good trip with us to the farmer's market.

We actually live in Bixby; the coolest place on earth! It is a little country community quickly turning into a trendy thing. Y'know me always wanting to be in on what's "HIP"!

Here are some random pics of what's going on this afternoon.

The new bed is mom & dad's!!! It is a pillow top queen with soft & luxorious sheets. They had been in the same old bed for over 35 years, and it was a bed they bought at a yard sale. So welcome to Bixby!

Here is Dad in his new sitting room with his flat screen TV. He is doing what he does best... napping. Well now mom has something to do besides watch him nap!

You will see above that she has "snuck" upstairs to be with her granddaughter. She just grabs that handrail and off she goes to play with the kids. Annaliese is more than thrilled to babysit Grammy and play in her new room.

Come for a visit! We have a cool guitar room as well. Sean would want me to include these pics.

Justus has all ready rode his bike across the street to play with his new buddy Caden!

Feeding Time!

Mom is doing okay! In this picture, the kids are trying to encourage her to eat by Justus taking the helm. She hadn't eaten anything all day so at dinner, Justus just took off with telling her then he would just have to feed her then. And BOY DID HE!

We got a good laugh, and mom got a good meal!

Kitchen Update!

Well here is the new counter top, tile back splash, sink and flooring for the kitchen. If mom were in her right mind she would be so thrilled to have the update. The floors are so nice compared with the old tile.

It may seem crazy to attempt a remodel with mom in the house, but I think we accomplished it without too much angst.

Now for the termite treatment. It will be June 8th! They have termites working on 4 different areas of the house. Once it's treated we should be problem free.

Oh and then there was the escapade with the hot water tank. Dad insisted he would take out the old corroded tank and replace it himself. I tried to convince him a plumber would be best but NO! Alas after 2 different tanks and 6 days of my boiling and microwaving water. I DEMANDED the plumber. Billy from Bethany Plumbing was our hero!!! He came out and replaced their gas line and had that tank in and going in 20 minutes. NOW THE DISHES ARE CLEAN!!! Now the shower actually gets hot. Hallelujah for the plumber!

HOT ROD HEAVEN!!!!

Here is something that was sooo incredibly special to my dad. I just had to blog about it! We have very recently been blessed to meet a special family... the Howard's! Hayden Howard is one of Annaliese's very most favorite Kindergarten friends. His family lives just North of our home on 50 acres. The have the coolest set-up on their property. Hayden's grandparents live in the shop/garage behind the main home. It is amazing! They have hotrods galore in the beautiful out-building. Every year the Robert's, Hayden's grandparents host an event for families. Hotrodders come out to see the cars and bring their own autos for the evening of food, fun, fellowship. This year we were so excited to get to go! Hayden's parents, Bill & Carri graciously invited us and mom & dad, but we were skeptical if mom would be able to handle it.

Sean, myself and the kids headed out for the potluck and a good time. No more than we had pulled up when we both realized that my dad just had to come out. Sean jumped back in the truck and went to get both mom & dad. My dad was beaming ear to ear when he got out to see all the cars!!! Many of the chevys he had owned at one time in the past. Mom just came on in the barn/garage/barbecue and sat with me. Everyone was so sweet to us and welcoming. It was an atmosphere like a giant church social. Kids played everywhere, and dad got to step back into some of his older and fonder memories! It's a day I will cherish and never forget. I wanted to include Hayden's Grandpa's website www.54chevrolet.com. It is a fun site and will let you see all the cool cars!

Breakfast at Jim's

For the past 15 years or so my parents have frequented a little old-fashioned diner called Jim's in NW OKC. This morning Dad wanted us all to go to breakfast there. It is a VERY lo-key place and somewhere Mom is familiar.

We met in separate cars at the restaurant and I pulled up next to her car door. I watched as she couldn't figure out how to get her car door open. She just sat staring at the handle. My daughter, Annaliese got out of her booster seat and jumped out of my car to go assist Grammy. She got her out of the car with a little help from Pa-Pa and then escorted her grandmother ever so carefully across the parking lot to the restaurant door.

Once we were seated I began my taking orders job. I get an order from dad since he has trouble hearing, I decide on an order for mom, and the kids, and then begin to figure out what I want. Today, mom couldn't remember what she might think would sound good. I kept throwing out ideas, and she would just repeat me and stare off in space. I chose for her a Belgium Waffle and some bacon. She didn't care. When it arrived, I cut it up in little bites and poured on her syrup. She ate over half of the waffle. I guess we made a good choice.

We enjoyed a breakfast together, but I couldn't help but think how difficult it must be for her not to know what is going on at all. I know when I pulled up in my car I was wearing glasses; this is something I rarely do. Sometimes I wear them to look "cool" or to help with driving. I noticed as she looked up at me, she couldn't recognize me. I immediately pulled off my glasses and said, "Do you know me now?" She smiled a familiar smile and said, "I think so, but I didn't at first." You just forget that little things can throw someone with memory loss off their "normal".

A Day in the Life of Carol

I think it is important to recap these 3 hours in order to prove to myself how much I am really doing. I somehow feel I must achieve points in order to have been a success for the day. It is now almost 10AM and my score is running really high all ready!!!

6:00AM - Tossing in bed looking at clock knowing I have to have mom at her doctor's appointment by 8AM... wondering if I need to call dad to remind him to get up.
6:15AM - Joined in bed by my son, Justus who says I'm more beautiful than a pumpkin pie!... and sweeter to... These were the first words to start my day.
6:20AM - Joined by Annaliese who wants to cuddle on the other side of me.
6:25AM - Get up from sleeping children to get dressed for the day.
6:27 AM - Half dressed but Justus wants some toast.
6:30 AM - Annaliese complains she doesn't feel well.
6:31AM - I take Annaliese temperature, but no fever.
6:35AM - Call dad to make sure he will be here by 7:30 to stay with Justus and to get Annaliese on the bus
6:40 AM - Breakfast for everyone & give Annaliese a Benadryl.
6:45AM - Finish dressing and pick out Annaliese's clothes for the day. (Sean leaves)
7:00AM - Pack up Annaliese's back-pack and do her hair. Tie her shoes EXTRA TIGHT. She can't get them tight enough.
7:05AM - Get Justus a blanket for the couch to lie on.
7:30AM - Mom & Dad arrive on time!
7:35AM - Throw on make-up and give dad instructions to watch the clock on the stove. At 8:15 he is to take Annaliese to the garage to wait on the bus!
7:40AM - Confirm with Annaliese that Pa-Pa will walk her outside and she is to wait for the bus which will arrive about 8:20.
7:45AM - Get mom to the car and help her in; she almost stumbles over as she gets in the car and won't stop telling dad goodbye.
8AM - Arrive at doctor's appointment realizing I left my phone at home on the coffee table.
8:30AM - Doctor walks in for visit, Mom has lost 8 lbs and is now 147pounds. Her blood pressure is great at 124/80!!! He is pleased. Due to frequent trips to the bathroom he orders a urine specimen.
8:40AM - I am holding a cup for mom so she can pee in it!!!! She doesn't want to pee on me!!!
8:45AM - Loading mom in the car for ride home!
8:46AM - Singing blissfully made up songs about "MY GREAT MOMMY! Mo-mmy my mommie! (To the turn of ..."The more we play together; how happy we'll be"
8:50AM - Taking mom to Starbuck's for a Dulche de Leche Latte! She's never had one. I thought it would be special for us! She seems to like it okay! I love it!
8:55AM - Walk in back door of house to find dad on the phone with Annaliese's school. She has thrown up.
8:56AM - Back in car driving fast to get my baby. I knew she didn't feel well!
9:15 - Picking Up Annaliese
9:16 - With tears in her eyes she asks, "Why did you make me miss the bus?"
9:17 - Realize dad forgot about the bus. and had to take her to school with Justus.
9:18 - Annaliese still teary eyed says, "Why did you have to leave your phone at home?"
9:19 - Feelings of guilt surround me! Egads!
9:20 - Annaliese says "mom, You aren't handicapped." More feelings of guilt as I look at the handicapped placard I used to help mom in the doctors office and utilized h.c. parking. I also used it at the school to help sick Annaliese in the car. "You're right Annaliese", as I remove the placard.
9:30 - We are safe at home but I still have to go drop off mom's prescriptions, and hit the bank! All this before 10AM!

Points to Justus for getting himself dressed!

Proudest Pa-Pa!

Care giving distractions!

Nothing could have been better for dad than the opportunity to go dancing with his granddaughter, Annaliese. Since Sean was out of town, Pa-Pa got to stand in at the Father Daughter Girl Scout dance. It was held at UCO in the George Nigh Ballroom. This pair is reported to have danced for 2 straight hours. Anyone that knows dad... knows he can cut a rug with the best of them. Annaliese was proud to have such a great dancer for her partner!!!

Updating Things

Whew! Do I feel bad! I haven't had the chance to post to this blog in weeks/months. I wanted to update with some pictures. I cut mom's hair myself!!! One of the things I've learned is how to cut hair, I suppose. Here is a before picture with Justus. I think this is the longest I ever have seen her hair.

Well, here it is my hair cutting expertise just took off! Let me loose with a pair of scissors and a willing participant and here you go! Just another care giving adventure!

Filling 3 Cups!

I got this information from a care giver's seminar conducted by Bruce McIntyre of Sunbeam Family Services, OKC. He has ministered to the needs of his wife dealing with an autoimmune disease/illness.

3 Cups Caregivers need to consider filling.

First - The relax/re-energize cup. There needs to be something that the caregiver does like weekly trips to Starbucks, or exercise, or a hobby. Something that offers a regular refreshing or break. I time to clear your head. For me this is my new-found exercising hobby and my recent running.

Second - Who are the people you need to let in to fill the cup of caring friends. List 3 people that you need to foster their friendship. Caregivers tend to withdraw from close relationships just when they need them most.

Third - Get the needed outside help for tasks that are overwhelming. In our circumstances it is lawn care and house cleaning. I am taking a step forward with this one and have found a 16-year-old, Andrew, who will be mowing my parent's lawn this summer. Hallelujah!

It really helped to attend the seminar and take a look back at what ways I could begin to fill these cups for both myself and my dad!

Well, today was a respite day for dad. A day to enjoy his grand kids and get out of the house. For four hours a respite worker, Mae Moore comes to play games with mom, so dad can have a much needed break. He got to go the barber and get some hot shaving cream! While he got his hair cut in one chair, Justus, age 5 got his new doo in another. It was a great grandson & Papa moment!

I went to a caregivers seminar at a local church last night. I got a lot of great ideas and insights. I'll be posting more later this week.

My husband, Sean is out of town in Philadelphia with his new job, so things are CRAZY WILD!!! I have lots of great information to share and will be posting soon. If anyone ever needs to contact me for insight and information, feel free to e-mail me at sommerzone@sbcglobal.net

Thanks to everyone who cares!

Carol

The Joy of Alzheimers!

http://thecaregiversvoice.com/blog/blog/

The above website belongs to Brenda Avadian. She is the author of several books on Alzheimer's and the caregiver. I have read Finding Joy in Alzheimer's 1 and Finding Joy in Alzheimer's 2. She has compiled short stories from caregivers that bring a sense of joy into a difficult life event. Brenda is giving a voice to caregivers, so check out her website for more books and information. She has graciously linked my blog to her site.

Thank you Brenda!!!

Anniversary - 44 Years!

Today we celebrated 44 years of marriage for my mom & dad. What a milestone! I am so blessed to have them for parents. I stand in awe of how fortunate I truly am.

I gave mom a bath and spa treatment. This included doing her hair. I have been letting her hair grow out, so I have more to work with when it comes to styling. I flipped up the ends, and it was the cutest it has ever been. Sean told her she was the cutest she's ever been since he met her. She just beamed and grinned ear to ear.

Late in the evening, I noticed she was out of the room, so I went to find her. She was looking in the mirror in her bathroom. I complemented her hair, and she smiled! She commented she was feeling kind of "teeter-ie" or unsteady. I took her to the living room to sit down. She started asking, "Now, where's my mother? Where's my mother?" I felt helpless to respond that my Grammy had passed away several years ago. She said, "Oh, I had forgotten that." She seemed okay and went on. Later I discovered, dad had neglected to give their morning medicines. I think that probably contributed to the confusion. I suppose I will just try more to keep a better check on him and those pill boxes.

Valentines!

This week is not only Valentine's week, but on February 16th my parents will have been married 44 years! That's pretty good considering Mom was 33 when she got married.

For Valentine's day the kids and I took by candy, cards, & a stuffed frog that sings! The frog is goofy and does his own rendition of "Let Me Call You Sweetheart... I'm in love with You!" It is very cute and mom and dad both sing along.

Another cute antidote is the singing game my dad has begun with mom. He grins at her and begins singing, "I love you in the mornin', love you in the ev'ning, love you at... (and abruptly stops). At his long pause, she jumps in with a deepish and fun..... "Suppertime!" We all have begun to "play" the game with her. It is so fun to see her eyes light up and her grin as she completes the song! Another good use of music therapy in dealing with Alzheimer's.

More Helps for dealing with Alzheimer's

• The Alzheimer's Alliance offers a helpline for challenging situations related to Alzheimer's. 1-800-272-3900.

• If you're in the Oklahoma City Area: Interested in sitting down with someone who knows how to help? Paula Avery with the Alzheimer's Association knows everything that is available to help families with this illness. It takes several weeks to get an appointment, but it is so worth the wait. She will sit down with family members and inform you of everything that is available to help your circumstances. It's FREE! She can be reached by calling 405-319-0780.

• How they feel? They are scared all the time. Each patient reacts differently to fear. They have become passive, uncooperative, hostile, angry, agitated, verbally abusive or physically combative. They may even do them all at different times, or alternate between them. Anxiety may compel them to shadow you (follow everywhere). They can't remember your reassurances. Keep saying them.

Bath Time Fun!

I think my memories of childhood are helping in coping with my mom. Bath time can be VERY stressful for both of us. You have to have everything at hand and ready. Preparedness is key to a success. Of course, you can never be prepared for the fact that the water seems, "TOO HOT!!! or "OH, THAT's SO FREEZING" or "NO, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD WASH MY HAIR."

Today, I decided that we could try singing during bath time. It worked great. My mom sat in the water singing so contently, "I'm a little white duck... sitting in the water... a little white duck doing water I otter...." We both got the verses messed up, but who cares. We made it through the bath!

Near the end of the experience as I was rinsing her hair, I began to realize the temperature of the hot water was dropping. Now these people have a big hot water tank! Well, the pilot light had gone out. I had limited time. Of course, God was with me, and we did our best. Surely her hair is rinsed well enough til next week's head washin'.

I hope it's not dangerous to light a hot water tank pilot light. I have no experience with this!! Of course this is my dad's area of expertise. I'm sure he'll do great, but it's just another concern that I thinking about. We'll see!

Here are some tips for Alzheimer's care:

• Don't reason
• Don't argue
• Don't confront.
• Don't remind them they forget.
• Don't question recent memory. "Don't you remember; we just talked about that?"
• Don't take it personally!
• Do give short, one sentence explanations.
• Repeat instructions in the exact same way and allow plenty of time for comprehension.
• Avoid asking questions that rely on memory

More next time! - Carol

Blubble, Blah, Blah, Blubba

I was talking with my friend about holding my mom. I did it again today. I just held her there and patted her. Something made me turn to her and flip my tongue across my lips as a child would do saying, "blubba, blubba, blubba, blubbabaaba". To my surprise she did it right back to me. I cracked up and did it again. She did too. We kept doing it for a good 10 minutes. We both laughed.

I can remember silly times as a child of her holding me and doing the same silly game. It was so good to see her smile. My daughter overheard the exchange and began giggling hysterically. She came and joined in with our fun. It was a point of contact for all of us. Those don't happen that often anymore. I was so glad I happened onto something crazy that made for a "moment" for forever!

As for my doctor's visit. It went well. All my blood levels are normal. In fact, my triglycerides are EXCELLENT. I am working through the sleep "spells" with some medicine.

My mom has alzheimers...

I am 38 years old and raising my 5 year old son and 6 year old daughter. I am also raising my mom.

Coincidentally, my mother, Joy was 38 when I was born. She lavished every bit of love on my life. Everything she had to give was mine. She had waited a long time for a child. I would be her only one. I can't imagine a mother more crazy for her little girl. My father was older as well, and his sole purpose was and still is to make me smile.

Now Earl is 82, and taking such great care of Joy at 77... or at least he's trying. Every day of our lives is a work to motivate, build-up, and elevate Joy. Mom has the most ridiculous disease. It confuses, befuddles, unnerves, and agitates my most precious mother! It is unfair and cruel.

I just want to start this blog to vent it all out. To help remember and forget all the junk of this illness and to mark the good and somehow help my kids to truly understand mom for who she was then and who she is now!